So after much time and frustration, I have finally left unemployment behind...at least temporarily, just for the summer. As most of you already know, I managed to land a job as a bartender (albeit a seasonal one) and have been gainfully employed since May. So I’m bringing my blog back again, which has been briefly on hiatus these past several months (I’ve discovered that working full-time leaves so much less time for blogging). So now “Life Unemployed” will become, for the time being, “Life on the Rocks”, as I delve into tales of my adventures in bartending. Unfortunately, however, I’m afraid that the old “Life Unemployed” will most likely return once more come fall, when the season is over, and I again join the ranks of the jobless.
Many of you already know where I work, and for others it will be blatantly obvious in the context of this blog. Yet I dare not mention the establishment that employs me by name, as I’d very much like to keep them employing me.
I have been working here for four months already, and in that time I must have poured at least 2527 pints of Stella, opened 3000 or more bottles of beer, served some 953-plus glasses of wine, and shaken more than 875 margaritas. I have dumped easily 50 liters of strawberry daiquiri mix on my shoes, pried open at least 356 cans of pineapple juice, and broken more glasses than I can count. I’ve plucked enough fresh mint leaves to fill a swimming pool-full of mojitos, and it’s literally driving me out of my mint-picking mind! There are 54 new knicks and cuts on my hands and more are added daily. And though the season is already more than half over, this is still just the tip of the ice bucket. I have two more months’ worth of coconut rum-tinis and peach sangria ahead of me.
Allow me to set the scene for you. This is not one of those fancy schmancy “cocktail lounge” places where candles line the bar, the olives are stuffed with blue cheese and the martinis are $15. No, where I work, the counters are sticky, the fruit is slimy, and the juice is spoiled (on occasion). This bar is outdoors, which tends to make cleanliness even more lax. So, we dump things on the floor, stick our hands in the ice, and I can’t tell you how many bits of unidentifiable floating debris (rarely, formerly-living debris) I’ve picked out of the drinks with my fingers before serving them. We even dare to serve wine in— God forbid— stemless glassware, and people are actually petty enough to complain about this on a regular basis. One of my co-workers refers to it as “commando style bartending”. And yet, the martinis are still $15… and the draft beers are an unheard of 13 bucks a piece! (We can boast to customers of having the priciest beer in the city). Because location always trumps sophistication, and you simply can’t beat the location of this place.
They say it takes all kinds, and all kinds we get here. This bar definitely brings in a diverse crowd. Because of its famous location we get a huge amount of tourists, most of them foreign. But we also get out-of-towners from all over the country. One group from Florida gave me the profuse compliment of telling me I was among the top ten nicest New Yorkers they’d met since they’d been here. Awww, shucks! We get the post-theater crowd, and the post-work, happy hour, corporate suit crowd. There are shoppers who drag along their bags from Abercrombie & Fitch or American Girl Place (and then inevitably spread out their new purchases all across the bar to play with and admire, ultimately leaving a trail of empty bags and packaging behind them). Or families who drag their kids with them to sit at the bar, which is illegal. And lots of old folks who order nothing but coffee at the bar, which is just plain annoying (the coffee station is all the way inside and a trek to get to. And besides, who orders coffee at a bar??). And they come in every quantity and combination, from lone drinkers to large groups, and everything in between, including countless couples. This summer I’ve witnessed at least one proposal (very happily accepted, in case you’re wondering), several drunken make-out sessions, a few painfully obvious first dates, and, I can only assume, several break-ups as well.
Yes, since I’ve been working here, I’ve seen it all. And though I haven’t been blogging in ages, I’ve been taking notes, jotting down anecdotes and quotes and scenarios… saving them all up to share with you over the course of the various blog entries to come. Starting with the next one.
So goodbye for now. Talk to you soon. Until then, drink up!
Kathy.
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