Today’s post is a real, true, “day in the life of the unemployed”. Specifically, this is my day—yesterday-- as it actually happened. In mind-numbing detail. At the risk of boring you (and I apologize in advance if it does), I wanted to share some of the trials and tribulations of being unemployed: The oh-poor-me’s of it… or, the optimistic side, as in, at least I’m not stuck in a stuffy office and I get to enjoy the nice weather! In general, this is the bad and the sometimes good, and either way, it’s the still-able-to-laugh-at-myself, ups and downs of my wage-less existence. If you do find this tedious to read, consider yourself lucky… better to read it than to live it, right?
6:06 AM: Get up for 7 AM swim practice.
9:12 AM: Call from temp agency. Google assignment. Best news of the day. So far.
10:00 AM: Grocery store. Out of English muffins again.
10:30 AM: Home again. Fix breakfast. Watch end of recording of Biggest Loser. Procrastinate the dreaded job search for the day.
12:15 PM: Facebook, emails, anything but answering ads again. Hell, at least I’m on my computer… that counts as job searching, doesn’t it?
12:45 PM: Finally look at ads, play around with cover letters. Change two words on resume. Big progress.
1:00 PM: Phone call from fellow unemployed friend. Misery loves company.
2:15 PM: Lunch and start getting ready for Open Call for bartenders at a local bar/restaurant.
3:25 PM: Leave apartment and head to Open Call. Dodge countless drunken, green-enrobed revelers crowding the streets. Can barely walk. Almost get knocked down by a guy wearing a leprechaun hat, a fake green beard, and a T-shirt that says “I swear to drunk I’m not God!”
3:45 PM: Arrive at bar/restaurant for Open Call. For those of you not familiar with this process, this is a cattle call for those in the food and beverage service biz: One ad on Craigslist, a room full of potential bartenders all scrambling for the same job, and one or two interviewers calling people up, one at a time. It’s the same kind of thing as for actors at big auditions (think American Idol), except that we don’t have to sing. We just have to know the difference between sushi and sashimi, or the ingredients in a Dry Martini.
3:50 PM: Size up the competition, feel inferior. Wait to be called. Wait some more. Read restaurant’s menu. Try to overhear the questions being asked by the interviewer. Prepare answers. Study the menu again. Need to pee, but scared they’ll call me if I leave.
4:25 PM: Finally… my turn to be interviewed. Reading the menu pays off… I get the questions right! Note to future Open Callers: Don’t just sit there waiting your turn, with all that time to kill, reading “Us Weekly” or “Sports Illustrated“. Read the menu. In case they ask. And inevitably, they will.
4:26 PM: Interviewer berates the guy before me who didn’t study the menu, and therefore didn’t know the difference between sushi and sashimi.
4:30 PM: Leave bar. Head to another bar where I used to work to enquire about summer job. Dodge countless more drunken green people. Shamrock beads. Light-up Shamrock necklaces. Irish flags.
4:50 PM: Arrive at second bar. Not hiring till April. Pick up application. Leave.
4:55 PM: Swing by Starbuck’s to grab a stash of Splenda packets for my own home use. Can you blame me? I’m unemployed!
5:03 PM: Pass homeless man in street begging for money. Walk on by without my usual guilt for not giving him anything, because I have the best excuse in the book. I’m unemployed.
5:04 PM: Suddenly fear I may soon be joining homeless man in street begging for money.
5:17 PM: Walk by Tasti DLite. Figure I deserve an award for being slightly proactive today. No good flavors. Head home.
5:26 PM: Back in apartment. Listen to the sounds of laughter and beer-induced festivities coming from the bar next door. Feel like a big loser because I’m not taking part. Erin Go Blah.
6:00 PM: Start writing this here blog thingy when I should be sending out resumes and answering ads. (Mom made me do it!). Bagpipe music outside window.
6:46 PM: Announcement on the news that unemployment rate is 9.7%. Great, rub it in.
7:21 PM: Still writing. WAY too much time away from the ol’ job hunt grind. Almost time to call it a day. Besides, my show is on soon. Put off job searching till tomorrow.
9:00 PM: Still struggling with getting this blog set up on-line. Seemed so simple in theory.
9:15 PM: Get a call for a temp job tomorrow. Coat check girl again, darn it. Desperation prevails. Accept assignment.
10:00 PM: Chicken noodle soup. Broccoli. Ugly Betty.
10:45 PM: Check to see if anyone’s read my blog yet.
10:50 PM: Check again.
11:03 PM: Wash face. Break out in odd, random rash . Great. That’ll definitely improve my interview look.
11:14 PM: Check to see if anyone’s read my blog yet.
11:17 PM: Check to see if anyone’s read my blog yet.
12:20 AM: Lights out.
So that’s all there is for now (finally, right?). Happy (belated) St. Patty’s Day, and happy hunting for the job-deprived!
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Life, Unemployed, Part 1
My last job ended on November 2nd. That was a long time ago. Admittedly, I took a couple months off for travel, holidays, and heartbreak recovery, but by early in the new year it was time to start the dreaded hunt for employment, one of the most overwhelming, demoralizing, and un-fun activities known to man (next to, perhaps, moving, or laser hair removal, both of which I’ve done far too much of). Since I began my job search, I have gone through various phases of motivation, procrastination, and depression. I’ve sent out countless resumes, had most of them ignored, been rejected for innumerable jobs, pounded miles worth of pavement, and even had one job offer that was later revoked. This last bit sent me first to the bar to console myself with frozen margaritas, and then sent me spiraling down into the depths of the pit of unemployed despair, and very abruptly and suddenly brought my job search to a week-long stand-still. But that can only last so long. I’m back now. Back at it again, back on Craigslist, back out in the big scary world of fellow desperate job seekers.
I have to say it hasn’t been all bad. I certainly enjoy the extra spare time (yes, all you income-earning laborers out there, this is the only point we have to hold over your gainfully employed heads, so forgive me if I milk it for all it’s worth). And I’ve kept busy. As most of us living off the State or our dwindling savings will agree, it’s amazing how we can still fill a day with countless activities (albeit not always productive ones), even when not actively seeking employment. I’ve spent my time seeing friends, swimming (hours a day), catching up on Grey’s Anatomy reruns and any other treasures my DVR might hold, painting flowers on my dresser, occasionally sleeping in too late or shopping (despite my lack of funds)... I also took a refresher course at my bartending school, took pole dancing classes, lost 14 pounds (the extra gym time an unemployed schedule allows pays off!). And I have picked up a few odd jobs here and there. I signed up with a temp agency which has given me the occasional miscellaneous work assignment here and there—such as serving hors d’oeuvres and clearing plates at a bat mitzvah, helping out at a Bordeaux wine tasting event (I got to speak a little French and taste a little wine myself. Bonus), and working as a bartender at a big corporate gathering at Google. Mind you, the Google office is now one of my favorite places in the world, and quite possibly one of THE best places to work. They get three free meals in their in-house cafeteria, countless snacks and treats at all hours; have Razor scooters to get around the office, and the best part—they get to play with Legos! I’m supposed to work a 12-hour shift there next week as-- of all things-- a coat check girl. Not my ideal job, but whatever, I get to hang out for the day at Google!
Now, as my sixth month of unemployment rapidly approaches, my mom finally convinced me that I should start a blog about the life of the unemployed. I certainly know there are enough of you out there in the same predicament who can relate, so hopefully someone might actually read this. And those of you with a regular paycheck may wish to have a look at it as well, so you can laugh and gloat and revel in your more fortunate circumstances. Either way, for my first entry, I thought I’d start out with what I did today. A day in the life of the unemployed. But that part will have to wait till tomorrow. I’m out of time and you are probably out of patience.
More tomorrow.
I have to say it hasn’t been all bad. I certainly enjoy the extra spare time (yes, all you income-earning laborers out there, this is the only point we have to hold over your gainfully employed heads, so forgive me if I milk it for all it’s worth). And I’ve kept busy. As most of us living off the State or our dwindling savings will agree, it’s amazing how we can still fill a day with countless activities (albeit not always productive ones), even when not actively seeking employment. I’ve spent my time seeing friends, swimming (hours a day), catching up on Grey’s Anatomy reruns and any other treasures my DVR might hold, painting flowers on my dresser, occasionally sleeping in too late or shopping (despite my lack of funds)... I also took a refresher course at my bartending school, took pole dancing classes, lost 14 pounds (the extra gym time an unemployed schedule allows pays off!). And I have picked up a few odd jobs here and there. I signed up with a temp agency which has given me the occasional miscellaneous work assignment here and there—such as serving hors d’oeuvres and clearing plates at a bat mitzvah, helping out at a Bordeaux wine tasting event (I got to speak a little French and taste a little wine myself. Bonus), and working as a bartender at a big corporate gathering at Google. Mind you, the Google office is now one of my favorite places in the world, and quite possibly one of THE best places to work. They get three free meals in their in-house cafeteria, countless snacks and treats at all hours; have Razor scooters to get around the office, and the best part—they get to play with Legos! I’m supposed to work a 12-hour shift there next week as-- of all things-- a coat check girl. Not my ideal job, but whatever, I get to hang out for the day at Google!
Now, as my sixth month of unemployment rapidly approaches, my mom finally convinced me that I should start a blog about the life of the unemployed. I certainly know there are enough of you out there in the same predicament who can relate, so hopefully someone might actually read this. And those of you with a regular paycheck may wish to have a look at it as well, so you can laugh and gloat and revel in your more fortunate circumstances. Either way, for my first entry, I thought I’d start out with what I did today. A day in the life of the unemployed. But that part will have to wait till tomorrow. I’m out of time and you are probably out of patience.
More tomorrow.
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